Z

I remember you

Looking for trouble
And distraction
My hunger for the feed
Exceeds my complacency.

There is nothing
To wait for, to think about
I’m connected to some lead
Excuse my latency.

It takes me somewhere
But I’m still alone here
Craving some more
Colours galore

Not sure why I think
It exists
Or why I think at all
Exclude this tactility.

Lights, you have
My full attention
Make me see
In what is unimportant

Why would you pick a flower?
It’s a euphemised death.
To take its beauty for yourself
Is selfish.

For a flower lives to be beautiful
Some sole purpose short lived in the spring
An unconscious being soon to wither
And turn to dirt on your couch.

We find beauty in what we can’t understand,
And if we don’t understand it
What right do we have to abuse it?

And while the wind blows away the petals
and the leaves,
At least we know she’ll grow back again;
Not destined for some temporal fate
Suspended in glass.

Because flowers don’t belong
In vases or pedestals.
They are like us, born of the dirt,
And we like them will return someday—

This feels like an afternoon:
looking up at a sky with a promise of sun
And the promise of everything you wanted
They told you you’d think you want

What is real doesn’t quite match up
With what you think
But that’s okay. It’s only a headache of time wasted

Time that seems so slow but passes like the daylight in the evening
No plan of what to do in the next few hours
Nor the next few years

The ephemeral in between
That with motion you could distract yourself from
That keeps coming back
Or it never leaves at all

It’s lying in the daylight
On your side with one eye open
Not being sure of how you should feel
Or where you should be

I would never burn paper.
Rip pages out of books,
Because if it’s printed with ink
It’s a lot more certain than I will ever be.
And it must be right.

I sound like a follower. A believer.
But there’s nothing wrong with believing
In living fiction and fantasy.

Wrong is only when you expect
The people you newly meet
To be someone you’ve precisely cut
From a silhouette in a book
That was for your eyes only.

Distance makes us ashamed
To be who we really are

I’m not a traitor of these towers,
I just need to find middle ground
Where I can stand and reach at the same time.

Ours is a love
That will dry up with the banks
The water it flows
From some higher flanks

The love that is coloured
Blue blood of your greed
Tumble down the river
But it’s transparent to me

Stubborn and persistent
So deluded you’re right
Everything contrary
You’ll fix with a fight

Call it what you want
I know exactly what you are
Pay for blood upfront
I’m an investment out far

Strip it down
The human connection
To ten dollar bills
In the strap of affection

Say what you want
That there’s no other truth
And that one day I’ll see
That you own me.

I just can’t wait to be
everything you wanted of yourself

z

I remember days
stuck in your eye
glued to the table
wondering when
I’d be home with you

You seem like a dream
fade like a photograph
ghost I can see you
I’m losing my mind
I still hear gunfire lines

You bleed another shade
playing with chances
leave your choices
go join the band
they’ll march you into brightness

I saved your little things
they guarantee me that
unlike a bond I can’t return
everything you had been

oh you’re out of my arms now
and I can’t follow you into the ground
oh it’s out of my hands now
I’m His, she calls, he goes

Let go

You’ll surely get hurt (gravity is so brutal)

But you’ll be free of that smothered, distorted, and perfect tree.

You’re the one I choose
So you’re the one I will love.
Don’t tell me that’s not how it works.

Don’t preach to me the necessity
Of fumes and burning metal when we saw each other,
Because to fall into love
Means you have enough momentum
To smash through the bottom and fall out of it
So carelessly.

Look at my brothers, sisters, and cousins,
I did not even pick them,
Yet between us is the strongest love,
So why can I not make that with the one I choose?

If you never find wrong,
You will never find better.
It’s so easy to settle
In temperate weather.
But I want the heat,
So that I’ll need cool.
Knit sweaters and scarves
And socks by the spool.
Unzip our skin
Until we’re glowing red.
Pastel and fading
Are falling to thread.
I found one among
A thousand in a billion.
Recite me the chances
That I would fall for him.